How Giving Before Asking Built a Profitable Podcast Through Relationships (with Richard Kaufman)

Table of Contents  

• The Relationship Trap Most Podcasters Fall Into

• What You Will Get From This Article

• Quick Answer: How Do You Build Podcast Relationships That Actually Grow Your Show?

• Why Giving Before Asking Is the Only Strategy That Scales

• The Calendar Checkbox That Gets 99% of Guests to Share

• How Handwritten Notes Built a Network of 1,400 Loyal Guests

• The Birthday DM Strategy That Hacks the Facebook Algorithm

• Why One Avatar Beats a Broad Guest Roster Every Time

• The Three P's That Prevent Pod Fade

• Common Mistakes Podcasters Make With Relationships and Growth

• A Simple 5-Step Plan to Grow Your Podcast Through Relationships

• FAQ

• Legacy Over Downloads

• Key Takeaways

The Relationship Trap Most Podcasters Fall Into  

Most podcasters spend their early months checking download counts and chasing algorithm tips while doing almost nothing to build the human connections that actually move a show forward. The ones who grow consistently figured out one thing: a podcast is a relationship engine.

In this episode of Podcasting Secrets with host Nathan Gwilliam, Richard Kaufman shares how he built the Vertical Momentum Resiliency Podcast 2.0 to over 1,400 episodes with a 99% guest share rate after losing most of his vision in a military accident. His approach centers on one idea: give before you ask, every time, without exception.

What You Will Get From This Article  

• The pre-commitment booking strategy that locks in a 99% guest share rate with one calendar checkbox

• A relationship-first system for landing high-profile guests including John Lee Dumas and Robert Kiyosaki

• The three P framework that explains why most podcasts die at 12 episodes and how to avoid being one of them

Quick Answer: How Do You Build Podcast Relationships That Actually Grow Your Show?  

Give before you ask. Buy the guest's products, promote their work, tag them publicly, and deliver value before making any request. Add a pre-commitment sharing question to your booking calendar, send handwritten thank-you cards after every recording, and use daily birthday messages on social media to stay visible in your network. Relationships compound over time in ways that algorithms never will.

Why Giving Before Asking Is the Only Strategy That Scales  

Richard Kaufman has a simple rule. He does not ask for anything without giving first. Before reaching out to John Lee Dumas, he bought every JLD book and course, posted weekly book reviews with purchase links that made JLD money, and ran a paid ad for his products before ever sending a message. By the time he reached out, JLD already knew his name. JLD came on the show, taught Richard how to podcast, and wrote the back cover of his book. That does not happen through a cold pitch.

He applied the same approach to Robert Kiyosaki and Austin Armstrong. Gary Vaynerchuk calls it jab, jab, jab, right hook. Richard calls it simply how he operates. If you want to build the same kind of guest relationships, start with the tactics in how to get podcast guests to promote your episode.

The Calendar Checkbox That Gets 99% of Guests to Share  

Most hosts publish an episode and hope the guest shares it. Richard built a system that makes sharing almost certain. Before a guest can confirm their spot, his booking calendar asks one question: do you promise to share your episode on all your platforms, including your email list? Guests click yes or no. Most click yes. His follow-up message references that commitment and delivers all the links. He credits this approach, learned from Zach Babcock at Underdog Empowerment, for his 99% share rate.

How Handwritten Notes Built a Network of 1,400 Loyal Guests  

After every recording, Richard asks every guest for a mailing address and sends a handwritten thank-you card. He has done this across all 1,400 episodes and says he is still friends with every person who has ever appeared on his show. Most hosts send an automated email or nothing. A physical card in someone's mailbox says you took time specifically for them. Once people know you are real, they want to stay in your world.

The Birthday DM Strategy That Hacks the Facebook Algorithm  

The first two hours of Richard's day go to one activity: reaching out to people. Facebook surfaces birthdays daily. Richard sends a direct message to every friend with a birthday that day. When you send a direct message on Facebook, the algorithm shifts and shows your content more prominently to that person for the next few days. He says Facebook typically shows your posts to about 5% of your audience. This strategy expands that reach without spending money, and the relationship effect is real.

Why One Avatar Beats a Broad Guest Roster Every Time  

Richard spent two weeks with John Lee Dumas building out his perfect listener avatar, a fictional character named Craig, a father of three, brand new business owner, and veteran. His rule is non-negotiable: if a potential guest cannot solve Craig's real problems, they do not get on the show. A tightly defined avatar makes every episode more useful to the exact listener you are trying to serve, simplifies every guest decision, and keeps your audience coming back. If you have not built yours yet, this guide on defining your podcast target audience is a practical place to start.

The Three P's That Prevent Pod Fade  

The average podcast lasts 12 episodes. Richard says the reason is almost always one of three things: purpose, power, and profit. A podcast without purpose will not survive a slow stretch. Power is the quality and relevance of your content. Profit matters because the financial drain of hosting and production without any return eventually wins. Richard says he can help some clients secure sponsors before their first episode goes live, which removes one of the main reasons people quit. If the profit side is holding you back, here is how one podcaster monetized before recording a single episode.

If you want an all-in-one place to create, grow, and monetize your podcast, sign up for PodUp here: PodUp.com.

Common Mistakes Podcasters Make With Relationships and Growth  

Asking before giving. Sending a cold pitch without any prior relationship or promotion history is the fastest way to get ignored. Build the relationship first.

Skipping the follow-up on sharing. Publishing and hoping the guest shares does not work. A pre-commitment question at booking and a reminder at publication does.

Ignoring platform distribution. Richard recorded 340 episodes before discovering his show was never submitted to Apple Podcasts. Check every platform yourself.

Marketing to everyone. A show without a defined avatar ends up being useful to almost no one.

Quitting before the relationships compound. The value of a podcast network shows up over hundreds of recordings, not the first twenty episodes.

A Simple 5-Step Plan to Grow Your Podcast Through Relationships  

Step 1. Define your avatar before booking a single guest. Build out a specific listener with a name, situation, and real problems.

Step 2. Give before you ask. Identify three to five target guests or sponsors. Buy their products, promote their work, and tag them consistently for weeks before making any request.

Step 3. Add a sharing commitment question to your booking calendar. Send links and a commitment reminder at publication.

Step 4. Send a handwritten thank-you card to every guest. Ask for the mailing address at the end of the recording.

Step 5. Spend the first two hours of each day reaching out. Use birthday features on social media to send direct personal messages and stay visible in the algorithm.

FAQ  

How do I get big guests on my podcast without a large audience?

Give before you ask. Richard Kaufman landed John Lee Dumas and Robert Kiyosaki by buying their products, writing public reviews, tagging them consistently, and placing paid ads for their work before ever making a request.

What is the best way to get podcast guests to share my episode?

Add a pre-commitment question to your booking calendar. After publishing, send a follow-up that references the commitment and provides all the links. Richard Kaufman maintains a 99% share rate with this system.

How do I grow my podcast audience without paid advertising?

Richard Kaufman spends the first two hours of every day sending birthday messages on Facebook. Each direct message shifts the algorithm in his favor for days. Combined with guest sharing and relationship building, this approach has driven his show past 1,400 episodes.

What are the three P's of podcasting?

Purpose, power, and profit. Richard Kaufman says ignoring any one of these three is the main reason the average podcast does not survive past 12 episodes.

Should I verify my podcast is live on every platform myself?

Yes. Richard Kaufman recorded 340 episodes before discovering his show had never been submitted to Apple Podcasts. Never assume your hosting platform handled distribution. Check each platform directly.

Legacy Over Downloads  

Richard Kaufman has received messages from listeners who say they stopped themselves from ending their life because of something they heard on his show. Gary Vaynerchuk once told him that legacy will always be more valuable than currency. That is why he records. The tactical strategies in this episode are all in service of a show that lasts long enough to matter. Downloads come and go. The show that stays consistent and treats every guest like a long-term relationship builds something that holds its value over time.

Podcasting Secrets with Nathan Gwilliam keeps bringing you real conversations from creators who are building shows with intention. Subscribe and follow Podcasting Secrets on Apple, Spotify and YouTube for weekly strategies on growth, guesting, audience building, and long-term podcast success.

Try the all-in-one platform to create, grow, and monetize your podcast without stitching together separate tools. Start your free trial at PodUp.com.

Key Takeaways  

• Define one clear avatar and only book guests who can solve that specific person's real problems.

• Add a calendar commitment question at booking asking guests to promise they will share on all platforms including their email list.

• Give before you ask by buying products, writing public reviews, tagging creators, and running promotions before making any request.

• Send a handwritten thank-you card to every guest after recording to build a network that stays active for years.

• Use Facebook birthday direct messages every morning to shift the algorithm in your favor and stay visible across your network.

• Focus on the three P's of purpose, power, and profit to avoid the pod fade pattern that ends most shows at 12 episodes.

• Tag brands you want as sponsors in genuine product content consistently until they notice and reach out.

• Share your struggles and setbacks openly. Vulnerability builds trust faster than polished presentation.

• Verify your podcast is live on every platform yourself. Do not trust that it was submitted automatically.

• Treat every guest as a long-term relationship, not a transaction. The network compounds in ways downloads never will.

Subscribe and follow Podcasting Secrets for more conversations like this one with host Nathan Gwilliam, featuring creators and podcast leaders who are building with intention. Find Podcasting Secrets on Apple, Spotify and YouTube for weekly strategies on growth, guesting, audience building, and long-term podcast success.

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Podcasting Secrets: Website: podcastingsecrets.com | YouTube: @podcasting-secrets | Instagram: @podcastingsecrets | LinkedIn: poduppodcasting | Apple | Spotify

Nathan Gwilliam: LinkedIn: @NathanGwilliam

Richard Kaufman: LinkedIn: @richard-kaufman-989757139 | YouTube: @UCqH4fxTUerT6JaFIaJ0_Zew | Spotify: Vertical Momentum Resiliency Podcast 2.0 | Book: The Podcasting Blueprint | Linktree: linktr.ee/VerticalMomentum